The beginning of a new year gives people the opportunity to make positive changes and make the new year a better one than the last year. And whether many people dismiss resolutions like this, they can make a powerful difference in your future happiness if you follow through with them.
For instance, if you want to end an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage this year, resolving to file for divorce in 2019 can be at the top of your list of resolutions. If you also want to make the event as peaceful as possible, you can add the following items to your resolutions:
- Prepare to break the news. Whether the news will be a shock to your spouse or not, be sensitive to how he or she will take your decision. As this article suggests, give yourselves adequate, uninterrupted time. Listen to your spouse and try not to become combative. Do not expect (or try to) resolve divorce-related matters in that first discussion; focus on sharing your decision and making reassurances that you plan to work together throughout this process.
- Commit to mediation. From the moment you decide to divorce, your attitude toward resolving difficult matters will be crucial in the trajectory of your divorce. Opting for cooperative dispute resolution methods like mediation from the beginning can ensure that parties work together and remain as amicable as possible throughout the process. If you are angry, vindictive or unforgiving and cannot get past those emotions, then you can wind up litigating your divorce.
- Consider a collaborative divorce. This is a process in which a divorcing couple, together with trained professionals, work as a team to resolve issues respectfully, without going to court.
- Do not get buried in the small things. There are several issues to work out in most divorces; some are big and some are small. If you find yourself bogged down by the minutiae of the process, stop and remember the bigger picture and your goals for the future.
These few tips can help you keep your head above water and remain amicable with your soon-to-be ex. Of course, the process is stressful and there are difficult emotions that one has to go through, and it can be tempting to resort to hurtful tactics or engage in mud-slinging. However, doing these things can jeopardize your goals of divorcing peacefully.