Most people feel unhappy in their marriage at times. Any long-term relationship will hit some rough patches. Maybe your spouse forgot to do the laundry, or he or she overspent on Christmas presents. Perhaps you are having the same argument repeatedly.
Fights are bound to happen. So how do you know when marital unhappiness has crossed the line into irresolvable differences? Here are four signs your marriage may be over.
You do not communicate about important things
You do not have to tell your spouse everything, but you should be able to talk to your partner about feelings and problems. Maybe you are upset with the way your spouse treated you when you were visiting his or her parents. Or perhaps you feel like he or she never really listens when talk. You cannot expect your partner to know what you are upset about, unless you tell him or her.
However, if you express these feelings and your spouse continues to ignore your needs, there is clearly a problem. You may consider talking to a therapist or trying couple’s therapy. If these solutions do not work, you may consider whether you want to stay in the relationship.
There is no physical intimacy
Physical intimacy refers to more than a sexual relationship. It also means touching, holding hands or cuddling. Not every couple needs an active sex life, but most couples want to be physically close to their partner. If you or your partner are repelled at the thought of touching one another, your marriage is likely in trouble. Again, you should discuss this issue, before you make any decisions.
Your big goals are different
There is something to be said about the idea that opposites attract. However, some differences are too big to get over. Disagreements about wanting kids, how to raise kids, how to spend your money or how to spend your free time can be major concerns.
Many couples fight about money, and it may not seem like a big deal at first. But if neither one of you is willing to compromise, it can turn into an argument that never gets resolved. Money is also one of the top reasons couples report getting divorced.
Your social circles do not overlap at all
Having your own friends outside of the marriage is a good thing. You should not spend all your time together. However, if you do not have any friends that you spend time with together, that could indicate a problem. Maybe you use your friends as an escape to get away from your spouse. Some breaks are healthy, but if you are constantly looking for excuses to be away from your partner, there may be something wrong between you.
There are no absolute signs your marriage is over. Even if your partner is unfaithful, you can sometimes work through it. However, certain issues are harder to address and may indicate your marriage is in serious trouble, if not past the point of no return. Before you decide your marriage is over, try to talk to your partner about these issues. If nothing gets resolved, then you may want to explore other options.