One of the most challenging aspects of divorce is untangling yourself and your life from someone who may know you better than anyone else. This person knows your vulnerabilities as well as the buttons to push to make you respond certain ways
However, knowing this much about a soon-to-be ex can also be valuable. For instance, if you are divorcing a narcissist, you can use what you know about his or her personality to prepare and protect yourself for the road ahead.
What is a narcissist?
Narcissists typically believe they don’t need to take responsibility for their actions, or that they haven’t done anything wrong. Often, they have difficulty showing empathy for others; they can turn any issue into one that adversely affects them more than anyone else; they may be volatile and controlling.
How can they affect a divorce?
If your ex exhibits these traits, he or she may be unwilling to negotiate and will demand things that seem unfair. He or she might try to control or manipulate the situation to make you feel bad. This person may not be open to rational, balanced discussions to reach peaceful agreements.
Steps to take to protect yourself during divorce
- Don’t try to get through this alone. Level the playing field by working with professionals to pursue the positive outcome you deserve. This can include your attorney, a mediator, financial counselors and even therapists.
- Know your rights. Don’t rely on the other person to tell you what you do or do not deserve. Instead, make an effort to understand property division, child custody and spousal support laws in California.
- Get your paperwork in order. This includes all your financial data, any orders for protection you may have pursued in the past, and detailed records of parenting time. Having this information can give you leverage in negotiations and the data you need to work toward a settlement.
Taking these basic steps can be crucial when you are divorcing someone with narcissistic traits or a narcissism disorder. Despite what he or she might say, you deserve fairness in your divorce and you do not have to go through this process alone.