The decision to end a marriage is not one that people generally make on a whim. Spouses may be dealing with difficult emotions for a very long time before they ultimately decide that divorce is their best option for future happiness. And there is no doubt that filing for divorce is just the first step in what could be a very difficult journey.
This is why it is crucial for people to be clear on what they want. There is nothing wrong with taking some time for exploration and questioning before deciding whether to end a marriage or not. In fact, there are some questions that every person should or will consider before making such an important decision.
- Is our situation temporary? Many couples go through difficult times because of temporary – but significant – strains on a relationship. Job loss, money woes, intimacy issues can all be very difficult to deal with, but they are likely temporary situations. However, disagreements on whether to have children, infidelity or having very different goals for the future are not exactly short-term issues with clear solutions. Depending on the type of strain a couple is experiencing, they may try to get through it or decide that there is no way to resolve the issue.
- Can we talk to someone about our problems? Many couples may consider counseling or therapy before divorcing. Having an outside perspective can help people identify stressors and solutions that they may not have seen before.
- Where do I fit in? Taking the time to be introspective can help an individual recognize how he or she may be contributing to a situation and what he or she might be able or willing to do to make changes.
- Do we still love each other? If a couple still loves each other, they may be more prepared to make some dramatic changes to salvage a relationship. However, if anger, jealousy or bitterness trumps any feelings of love, it may not be marriage that can be fixed.
These are just four questions California spouses may want to ask themselves before filing for a divorce. There are no wrong answers and asking these difficult questions can be an effective way to examine emotions and find some certainty in a complicated situation.
Source: The Huffington Post, “9 Crucial Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling the Divorce Attorney,” Winifred M. Reilly, April 21, 2014