Gray divorces unfold in largely the same ways that other divorces do. The same basic California family statutes apply. One spouse may have an obligation to provide the other with alimony in some cases, and the spouses have to find an equitable way to divide their property.
In other ways, gray divorces can be more complicated than divorces involving younger couples and those married for shorter amounts of time. There can be more emotions involved at the end of a long-term marriage and also far more property to divide. The financial interdependence of the spouses is also an important consideration. Those hoping to limit their divorce expenses often aim for an amicable and uncontested divorce filing. Mediation can potentially help spouses achieve that goal.
Spouses are in control of mediation outcomes
The goal of mediation is to help people talk about their disagreements to find solutions that they both agree are appropriate. For many couples, mediation can lead to a reasonable outcome. The privacy of a confidential mediation session allows both spouses an opportunity to discuss their concerns and desires.
In theory, if both spouses participate in the mediation process in good faith, the outcome can be fair and appropriate. Each spouse can receive a certain portion of the marital estate, and they have the opportunity to negotiate with a focus on the terms that matter most to them.
They then have to sign an agreement at the end of the mediation process outlining the terms that they set. If one spouse feels that the terms are unfair or their spouse has not compromised as much as they have, then they may decide that signing the agreement is not in their best interests.
There are some risks during mediation
In a litigated divorce, spouses have to give up control of the property division process. However, the fact that the courts make the final determinations provides a degree of protection. Both spouses have to make thorough disclosures of their assets and debts.
Any attempts at financial obfuscation, such as hiding or undervaluing resources, could lead to a judge penalizing the spouse who misrepresented their circumstances. In mediation, the lack of formal disclosure and discovery creates a degree of risk.
If one spouse has a history of manipulative behavior or financial misrepresentation, that can be an indicator that the outcome of property division mediation in a gray divorce may not be fair and appropriate. Most couples who agree to cooperate and honestly discuss their situations with each other can reach a reasonable agreement regarding the division of their marital property.
Divorce mediation can be an excellent option for those preparing for a gray divorce. Spouses who know the different potential solutions for marital disputes are in a better position to secure a favorable outcome.