Successful co-parenting after a breakup or divorce is a challenge. While parents generally want to do what is right for their children, they may have a hard time agreeing with one another about what that actually entails. Additionally, the need to frequently interact with one another can make it harder for the parents to heal from their relationship and move on with their lives. Co-parenting interactions often devolve into conflict where adults yell at one another and refuse to compromise.
The more conflict that co-parents have with each other, the more stressful shared custody can become for their children. Parents who prioritize healthy communication can reduce conflict and enjoy a more productive co-parenting relationship.
Choosing appropriate methods of communication
Some types of communication are very efficient but also when themselves to unnecessary conflict. For example, phone calls can be a quick way to obtain information, but parents can quickly become frustrated and angry with one another while verbally communicating. Many professionals recommend written communication, especially in the early months of co-parenting. hostility between the spouses. Written communication can help prove a pattern of hostility on the part of one parent and can also allow parents to better track any changes or modifications they have made to their parenting schedule.
Establishing and maintaining boundaries
Telecommunications make it possible to access other people at any time and at almost any location. Just because someone can reach their co-parent does not mean that they should. Respecting limits regarding when and where adults reach out to one another is important to maintaining a healthy relationship. Choosing not to contact each other at work except in emergencies is a good example. Limiting evening or early morning communications that could disrupt sleep schedules or getting the children to school is also important. Parents need to establish their own boundaries while also respecting the boundaries established by another parent.
Clarifying how to communicate with the children
In addition to having expectations for communication between parents, it can be helpful to have rules for communicating with the children. It is reasonable for one parent to expect that the other would allow a phone call before dinner or bedtime, but it may be less appropriate to ask the children to interact with the parent on social media platforms.
Appropriate communication rules can help co-parents manage their obligations to their children while minimizing the disputes they have with each other. Finding ways to reduce the conflict in a shared custody scenario can be beneficial for everyone in the family. Parents who are proactive about healthy communication may be able to prevent many unnecessary conflicts accordingly.