The questions that children have during a divorce are going to be different from case to case, because they’re going to be specific to the details of that case. No two marriages are the same, no two families are the same and certainly no two divorces are the same.
That being said, you can predict some of the questions that your children may have by looking at the things they tend to ask. It can be helpful to consider how you would want to respond to these in advance and what they may tell you about the process. Here are just a few examples below.
Are you going to get back together in the future?
Children will often hope that their parents will simply break up for a time and then get back together. But it can be detrimental to their emotional well-being to give them false hope. Be kind but firm about what is happening.
Where am I going to live?
Perhaps the most important thing most children ask is where they’re going to live and who is going to live with them. Like their parents, they want to know what the custody situation is going to look like. It is best for you and your spouse to present a united front and show them that you would like to divide time so that they will still get to see both of you.
Did I cause this?
Parents are often surprised when their children ask if they caused the divorce. If you know that your spouse was actually having an affair, for instance, you know well that the children’s actions had nothing to do with ending the marriage. But you may still want to talk with them and tell them that it is not their fault and that you love them, because they are going to have these concerns even when they don’t necessarily make logical sense. You still want to give them the support and comfort that they’re looking for.
Moving forward
Above all else, it’s very important to put children first and to look out for their best interests. Be sure you know what legal steps you can take to do so.