Divorce, as you may discover, by its very nature is a sundering of every aspect of a family. Personal issues and personalities are subject to scrutiny and comment. Most parties in a divorce want to be fair, yet be sure no one takes advantage of them.
The stage is automatically set for conflict, though all involved recognize things will proceed much smoother if you can avoid harsh words and inflexible demands. You may wonder how to keep the process moving forward hospitably.
There are steps you can take to minimize hostility
Here are some ideas you might adopt that has the potential to disarm some of the powerful negativity in your divorce and allow all parties to proceed with mutual deference:
- Use “cold” communication. Unlike phone calls and personal confrontations, letters, emails and even text messages give the other person a chance to think before responding.
- Practice using “I statements.” Rather than “you do this and it is wrong,” say, “I have a problem with you doing this.”
- Take time when responding to demands or harsh statements. Remember that second thoughts are almost always better thoughts.
- Do not post about the process on social media. Nothing on the internet calms a situation.
This is a time to embrace positives
Another discovery you may make is that you will hear lots of advice, some helpful and some not. This may be an opportunity for you to determine those individuals and institutions that are nurturing and those that are toxic.
Focusing on the sources of nurture and discounting the toxic ones will be the greatest help as you move forward.