After a divorce, parenting with your former spouse can be a challenge. However, building a solid relationship as coparents will benefit your children’s well-being.

Try these strategies after a divorce in California to improve communication and bridge the gap with your ex-partner to create a healthy coparenting relationship.

Stay cool, calm, and collected

Arguing with the other parent causes stress to everyone, especially in front of your children. Avoid speaking negatively about the child’s other parent, which can make children feel stuck in the middle and impact their self-esteem.

Plan important conversations with your former spouse for a neutral time and place, such as when the kids are in school. If you do let your emotions get the best of you and you speak or act in anger, apologizing for those actions can help pave the way for a more trusting, open coparenting relationship.

Avoid competition

After a divorce, you might feel that you must compete with your former partner to win your kids’ affection. Remember that all your children really want is attention and love from each of their parents.

Some parents relax the rules to become the fun parent, while others overspend on toys, gifts and outings. Instead of this, strive to provide a stable living arrangement with schedules and rules. These boundaries help your children feel secure during an uncertain time.

Keep kids out of it

You should not ask your children to choose between your home and their other parent’s home. They should not have the final say about visitation, vacations and living arrangements. Having a clear schedule in place for parenting time and sticking to that schedule prevents children from feeling like they have to take sides.

Keep these tips in mind as you move forward to the next phase of your life as a single parent.