Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP
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Is it always wise to play nice during divorce?

In recent years, we have seen a dramatic shift in how matters are resolved in a divorce. Rather than taking every case to court, most people are able to address and solve various issues through measures like mediation or collaborative divorce.

Is it always wise to play nice during divorce?

These more amicable and cost-effective solutions have been met with widespread acceptance and Californians are among those who prefer discussion and accommodation over contention and litigation and the vast expense often incurred. But does this mean that these options are always the way to go?

The short answer is no. Divorce can be a very divisive and painful experience, leaving two people - and their families - feeling defensive, scared and exposed. People want to protect themselves and their loved ones, and sometimes this requires a more formal court processes.

For instance, if you are the victim of domestic violence or if your ex is extremely manipulative, cooperative efforts to dissolve a marriage can be unwise. If your ex is particularly vindictive or has been making false allegations about you, reasoning with him or her about property division may be difficult. If your ex is neglectful or unkind toward your child, the only option may be best to leave child custody and visitation determinations in the hands of the courts.

However, utilizing amicable methods of dispute resolution can be enormously beneficial in many cases. While it can certainly be a difficult experience, in the long run, working together or at least in a fairly peaceful capacity to end your marriage can make things a little easier. The ability to have civil relationships in the future with your ex is beneficial to your children and to your extended family and friends.

Determining which approach may be best and most effective can be incredibly difficult when you are in the middle of the situation and dealing with the enormous impact filing for divorce can have on your life.

In order to gain some perspective and assess various problems and solutions in a legal context, it can be crucial that you work with your attorney to develop your divorce strategy and process choices. With this type of guidance and support, you can find the approach that is right for you and your specific situation.

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