Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP
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Sacramento, California

Over 125 Years Of Combined Experience

Are there consequences of a 'good divorce'?

The rise of the amicable and more civil divorce is undeniable. Couples and even state courts are trying to minimize the negative, bitter side of a split by focusing on collaborative resolutions, mediation and child-sharing arrangements.

Of course, there are still many people who cannot avoid the contentious nature of ending a marriage. In these cases, it is no secret that there are complications, angry fights and courtroom hearings that surprise the couple even though they were seemingly prepared for these situations. However, if you are pursuing a peaceful divorce, there may be some consequences of the split that may not be aware of or ready for. 

For example, this article in The Huffington Post notes that when divorces are more genial than not, the line between spouses and friends can get very blurry. Boundaries can get crossed unintentionally and feelings can continue to get hurt. Further, if two people have children, those kids can be very confused about their parents' relationship.

It can also be surprising for two people to learn that even the most amicable divorces have a psychological impact on those involved. People can feel depressed, confused, angry and guilty after a divorce. In a traditional divorce, it can be easier to release these emotions in heated exchanges or in court-ordered counseling. In a collaborative divorce, the divorce coaches assist the parties in expressing and dealing with their negative and difficult emotions.

There can also be legal obstacles that arise in these situations. For example, two people who have an amicable, friendly relationship may be more likely to overlook missing child support payments or violations of child custody orders. It is important that parties maintain their legal responsibilities to each other.

Divorces of any kind can be and typically are very difficult, whether they are contentious or amicable divorces. However, we encourage people who are going through a split to reach out for support from friends, family members and legal and psychological workers who can help them cope with their situation and feelings. It is impossible to avoid every potential consequence of a divorce; but with support and guidance, it can be easier to anticipate these challenges and deal with them appropriately. 

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