Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP
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Should you handle your divorce like a child?

Divorce is a complicated, stressful and emotional event. There are enormously complex issues that need to be resolved, from dividing up marital assets to establishing a parenting plan, and it can be enough to push any adult beyond his or her comfort zone.

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Despite the fact that there are many mature matters to be discussed, the words of one little girl may help people keep things in perspective. Recently, a video depicting a 6-year-old girl giving advice to her divorced mother made the rounds through social media and could help people see the importance of taking a different approach toward divorce: a more child-like approach.

In the video, the girl discusses her wishes for everyone to be happy and to remember that everyone has feelings. She says that if she can learn to be nice, so can the grownups around her. It seems like some solid advice, too. With that in mind, you may want to remember some of the important lessons we teach our kids and use them as you navigate the divorce process. For example, you can:

  • Be friendly: Even though you may no longer love or even care about your ex, trying to be amicable can help you make decisions more quickly and stay focused on the bigger picture.
  • Remember the importance of sharing: In any divorce, assets will need to be divided and custody of your children may have to be shared. Focusing on sharing or dividing things reasonably can help you avoid bitter, nasty disputes.
  • Cooperation can go a long way: While it is not possible in every case, working with your ex as opposed to against him or her can help you both get through this difficult time a little more easily and will help set a pattern for any interactions you may have to have with your former spouse (i.e., child/parenting issues) in the future.

However, there are some things children might do in a difficult, frustrating spot that should still be avoided. As adults, you will want to avoid:

  • Lying
  • Name-calling
  • Acting out of anger or revenge

Finally, as we tell our kids, it's okay to ask for help. Working through a divorce with an experienced attorney can help you resolve matters more easily and in an appropriate way.

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